The Ass, The Bitch & The Refrigerator
The other day, I left a nasty note for the person who stole my breastmilk from the community fridge at work. And as a result, I'm the topic of 'water cooler' talk: people stop to ask me what happened and I've gotten a lot of e-mails from people: from "Oh my gosh" to "Ewwwww" to "You go, girl!"
And then there was this one...
Shauna,
First of all, that was a horrible rude note that you left. No one needed to know about your "creamer".
Second, if you leave your breast milk in a public refridgerater, don't expect it to be there when you come back. Don't you know it is a bodily fluid! How would you feel if I left my urine right next to your lunch! Disgusted, I'm sure.
Do not leave your breast milk in the public refridgerator. Get your own refridgerater!
JT
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Yeah, thanks a lot. And since I'm still annoyed with this e-mail and it's Thursday, I thought I'd put together a Thursday Thirteen...
1. You are a pompous ass.
2. It's spelled refrigerator. Not refridgerater.
3. Take some grammar lessons. Questions end with question marks, which look like this: ?.
4. Yes, I was being a pissed off bitch.
5. No, I don't care.
6. Never again will I leave my breastmilk next to your half eaten can of Chef Boyardee.
7. Don't compare your urine to my breastmilk.
8. Unless you drink your urine.
9. Once the floor is completed in Room 600, I will go back to using my fridge and I won't care if you store your urine in the community fridge. (But I'm sure others will care.)
10. Since you are so offended by me breastfeeding, I will assume you will no longer stare at my breasts when I pass you in the hall.
11. My breasts are not for you to get your ya-yas.
12. I'm starting to think that the reason why you were so offended by my note is because you were the one who drank my breastmilk!
13. Did it taste good?
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But, I digress, I'm sure I'll never find out the identity of the perpetrator (and I know you're disappointed; it is rather anticlimactic), quite frankly, I don't want to know. It would just gross me out too much. And I'm satisfied with the thought that the offender will probably never enjoy their coffee in the same way ever again.
(Oh, and despite having had to throw out milk earlier this month, I still have enough for Elise so she didn't starve at the sitter.)
23 spoke up!:
I can't believe someone would compare breastmilk to urine. Furthermore, I would point out that breastmilk is ALSO somebody's lunch.
That might be the funniest 13 I have ever read.
Whatta jerko that JT is...
It was totally him! The jerk!
This is one of the best series of posts I have read in a while. This is why I read blogs. I don't want to hear about mundane blahs (though I imagine that's subjective), I want to hear about this kind of crap.
I could actually feel my face getting hot while I read these two posts about the breastmilk thief. I don't know if I was embarrassed or mad or both. Agree or disagree, evoking emotion is what makes good blogs great.
Oh, and I would tell you not to sweat the nasty comments, but I can't practice what I preach on that one, either.
OMG! I can't stop laughing my ass off! I heard somewhere that some people make soap out of breast milk- find out who it is, then make him a bar, wait til he uses it then tell him!! hahahaha
What a jerk! Too bad you didn't know who it was. You could put a bottle nipple over their coffee cup!
That was even better than the letter!
you go girl! that person was obviously a dude.
this may sound rude but... JT is the one his mother should have swallowed. May take a while to get... now it is coming to you... there you have it!
OMG! What an absolute jerk - I really can't add to what the others have said. I'd be leaving that list for him too :)
What a jerk. Sorry he wrote you such a nasty email.
YOU ARE A RIOT -
But what did you say back to the email? I think you should send this blog to JT as a reply!
I'm with Heather.... sending him that list as a response would be fabulous! What a jerk.
I love how people always try to blame someone else for their own stupidity. Maybe you should put pee in the fridge. He might just mistake it for lemonade.
What a jerk! I love your 13!
I don't know why I am enjoying reading all these mommy blogs (since I am neither a woman nor have a child) but its stories like this that keep me coming back for more.
Could be the funniest 13 point rebuttal I have ever read. Keep sharing.
Yeah, that's it. Breastmilk is just like urine.
Nice way to 'fess up, JT. What an ass!
I've always been disturbed by the people who take other people's stuff from the work fridge. Now I'm more so. What an ass!
Maybe he should have been nursed as a child.
What a dumbass. First if you want to be rude, learn how to spell. LOL
Good for you for writing that, if he had done that to me I think my list would have been a bit longer and a bit meaner.
Jillian
I can't get over someone actually comparing breast milk to urine. Do you feed babies urine, no! I would be ssoooo irate if someone took my baby's food from the fridge - And they think it's bad when they take my food!
you should point out the fact that COWS milk is a bodily fluid as well....
to their face and watch the jerks jaw drop completely dumb founded with no good response.
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